I realised something about myself yday. I dont feel loved/accepted/valued unless i'm being listened.

Growing up in a family where we dont share about our individual lives probably contributed to this lie that i believe in. There is no one in the family that i can confide in, no one to listen to me. Hence, i yearned to be listened to. Sadly, today's society have more speakers than listeners. As a result, more and more of my life experience affirmed the lie that i believed in. =(

Because of this lie, i've also been ultra careful with my speech. I'll be stressed at making public announcement, speeches, teaching coz i want to make sure that i dont say anything silly so that others will listen to me. It's pretty sad huh? Having said that, i'm not so stressed out now but still i'm very concerned. I will also try my very best to be a good listener to people around me, for to me, that is an expression of love. I've also always prayed for wisdom so that my words would not hurt people.

Now that i recognised this big fat lie in my life, I need to replace it with God's truth! I am loved, valued and accepted by my heavenly Father even if no one is listening to me. God's love for me is constant, He is always loving me. Surely what Satan intended bad can be made good by God, this expression of love by listening to others, this desire to constantly pray for wisdom so that i will not hurt others are precious gifts from God.

Lord i pray that indeed i'll use my heart to listen to others and that your wisdom has to be the foundation of my life.