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the char .

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come
2 Cor 4:17 The Bible

 Charmaine is my baptism name
to remind myself that my life has to be fruitful

Charmaine : [french] Bountiful Orchard

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Gal 5:22-23

whispery .




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Monday, February 23, 2009
family warmth

think i've never appreciate my family this much till now. Well..my family is not very closely knitted but we do care about each other lah..we are probably just not very expressive?

I told my parents about my decision about tribute programme. They opposed and felt that it's better for me to work in the secular world to earn money and support myself. Surely i understand that they would like me to have a good life and probably earn some good money. The next day, they asked me when am i starting tribute. meaning? they agreed to it tho they hope that i can work in the secular world.

I emailed my sister about my decision about tribute. I felt that there's more that i need to tell her and yupz i can tell her deeper things tru email then face to face... * hmmm...should i post my email to her....hmmmmmm let me think about it* I sms her to check her email. then i didnt get any reply from her for a few days and the next thing she sms me is about when are we meeting for dinner and stuff like tt. When i saw her..i asked her if she has read the email and she told me tt it's better if could work in the secular world for a few more yrs first. then we didnt get to talk about it... later on, i asked my bro-in-law how is my sister taking it. i was told that my sis wasnt too happy initially coz of the material reasons like how my parents also share the same concern. then after some thoughts, she also doesnt want me to be unhappy when i go to work and hence decided to give me her blessing. One funny thing is also that...haha...she is scare that i always hang out in church and has no opportunity to meet new pple and get married. whahaha..tt's a really nice tot

reflecting through how my family is supporting my decision...warmth swept through my heart in a way i've nv experience before. Lord...indeed your hands are at work. thank you Lord


char pondered@10:36 PM

Tuesday, February 17, 2009
To Praise

ended my 5 days compliance leave before ocbc can rehire me.

i have also informed them that i'll not be going back. boss replied my email saying that she is sorry that she couldnt get my contract renewed on time and if i wanna go back just let her know. tt was pretty reassuring. thanks boss.

there is ecc meeting tonight and they will decide whether to accept me as a tributor. wonder when will i be able to start the tribute programme.

hasnt been doing much lately..hahaha...but yupz, am spending more time with God, more time praying, watched $6 movie, read books and tried to play the guitar again...hahaha..whenever i take up the guitar, i also wonder if i'm not gifted, not hardworking or what? or whether i should give up...but it seems tt it's really something tt interest me and hence why i've not given it up tho i tried to pick up playing since a few yrs back..looks like...the reason it tt i'm not hard working enough!!! better buck up!!!

hee..my guitar has a name..she is cleo. it means "to praise" that's exactly what i wanna do with this guitar, to sing praises to God.

i'm going to work hard and learn how to play the guitar. Needa move beyong "this is the day" hahaa..


char pondered@10:21 PM

Tuesday, February 10, 2009
last day of work

10 feb has arrived!

Ended my 1 yr contract with ocbc. I'm on a 5-days compulsory leave before they could rehire me. Am i renewed? I do not know. The HR told me that it's still pending as of today. My boss told me that she has requested since early Jan,

I'm feeling a little excited about:
my break - coz can wake up late!
the things that i can do eg watch cheap movie, swimming lah....
the possiblilty of doing tribute
the time thati can spend with myself and family

While i'm also feeling a little embarrassed that my contract is not renewed, as though i'm not performing hence contract not renewed. But aiya! Cant bother so much lah how, if people wanna think like that i also bo bianz.

Lord guard my heart.


char pondered@9:02 PM

Sunday, February 8, 2009
found that seed

during DTS, joe cheah taught us a "formula" on how to discover why are we reacting to God in certain ways. He gave an example of how a quiet father who doesnt respond to his son when his son talks to him, turns out that the boy grew up to not being able to pray. Coz the "seed" planted in his life is that a father do not talk to his child. So the boy grew up not believing that God will talk to him when he prays.

i guess i found my seed of why i have yet to trust God that He will provide for me financically.


char pondered@10:16 PM

God's promise is to be received

After talking to pastor joe...he gave me more things to think about. He is really cool, He was able to see things from lots of diff perspective. He sensed that i needed more time to think through, he didnt rushed me. He knew that i still wasnt sure, he continues to affirms my calling.

here are some things tt i was told to think about.

1. if i were to go tribute, how would tt affect my relationship with my sister?
2. what do i plan to do after tribute?
3. YWAM/Tungling --> Tribute? or Tribute --> YWAM/Tungling?
4. How would the finances come in?

2 really cool things tt pastor joe pointed out

1. When God gave a promise, it's meant to be received not assumed.
2. God provides in different ways to different people, we need not limit the way He is going to provide.

I guess pastor joe is asking me to hold on to the promise that God has given to me and not to assummed what He will do for me. God can provide in many ways and in this case, izit church? or?

He also asked me to consider ECC and tt he will process with me after each ECC. It's a very good oppty to learn under him and understand what's happening behind the curtains. Which pastor joe thinks tt it will be very useful for me in time to come.


char pondered@10:08 PM

Wednesday, February 4, 2009
blur sotong

hee....i kinda got the contract ending date wrong. It should be 10feb not 4feb.
still, it doesnt make much of a difference ya..coz it's still pending HR approval. Boss was kinda apologetic when she spoke to me about the contract on monday, she apologised for causing the anxiety.

meeting pastor joe at 3:30pm...hmmm..excited


char pondered@1:01 AM