Reading this Psalm makes tears roll out from my eyes last night.
Been thinking about quitting my job as I am unable to handle the fact that i'm under performing in my job. As in..what's so difficult about taking all these calls? Why are my call stats not climbing up? What's wrong with me? Slowly..the thought became
" This is just not the job for you"
" Customer Service job can be fun too...like in Fairprice"
" There's no free time during the entire office hours"
" The strictly one hour lunch is too restrictive"
" There are better jobs out there for you..."
I was overcame by these thoughts. These were the push factors to quit the job. Of coz there will also be pull factors to stop me from quitting. Looking at my financial burdens I know I need a job.
Bread or love for job?
I reflected on the entire journey from job search till now and came to a conclusion.
God gave me this job. I was very certain that this is the place to start with in the banking industry. Where else gives you a better understanding of the customers and products other than this job. It's going to aid in my plan to do marketing in banks and what's more, all management trainee starts off in my dept too. This is merely part of the learning.
What went wrong was my relationship with God. Since Feb this year, I had not had a solid QT. Ashame. This job became all the excuses for every other thing.
" I've no time for X because i need to spend time learning my new job"
But look at what's happening now. I've achieve nothing. I didnt spend quality time with my family, friends or ministry and neither am i excelling in my job.
Non of my days were significant. Non of my deeds made an impact. This Psalms reminded me that God is my dwelling place and that I should not allow my days to simply pass away.
Lord, be my everything. Teach me to number my days so that I may gain a heart of wisdom.
Satisfy me every morning with your unfailing love, that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon me and establish the work of my hands.
Psalm 90
A prayer of Moses the man of God.
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
4 For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-
6 though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.
7 We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.
10 The length of our days is seventy years—or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.
